You too can live
Brain of Arnold Schwarzenegger, muscles of Charles Hawtrey, all this can be yours if you do a reasonable amount of physical exercise reveals a new government study.
So let’s do it.
I propose running like a scared pig for 100 metres, walking like a limp dog for 30 metres, then running like a lamprey that has adapted its weirdly toothed mouth into a land-based perambulatory device for a further 100 metres.
This should be done three times a week.
What type of pig?
Well that’s entirely up to you but my personal preference is the Gloucester Old Spot, they run in a particularly fine style, especially when bothered by an arm waving Tory. It’s the most amusement you can get from a Tory, although to be honest I do feel for the pig in this situation.
Always make sure you are in reasonable condition before starting any exercise regime.
Let’s check the vital signs ahead of an appointment with the vet.
Not so bad given that this five decade old body has had a chest infection, not been for a run for a fortnight, and has been stuffing its face full of comfort food for the best part of the last 10 days.
That's probably ok, start slowly and work yourself into a blue funk.
Walking to and from the office is perfectly adequate exercise, assuming you live a couple of kilometres away. This may not be practical if you live further than 8 kilometres away, that's too long a time to commute and there is a possibility that you may drown.
Before you know it you'll have the Arnie/Hawtrey combo of brain and brawn and will be the envy of all your friends.
Carry on, Terminator.
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