Day 210, archaeological investigation

You may on occasion find yourself standing in a field with archaeologists.

Stay calm.

They will not harm you.

Well, generally they will not harm you.

Typically the aim of the archaeologist is the study of the recent and ancient human past through material remains.  As part of this study they will sometimes embark upon wild flights of fancy, and construct entire fully featured scenarios with finely detailed curtain edging and filigree work.  Don't let this terrific use of the imagination put you off, it's just there to add a little colour.

Here are some archaeologists in Graves Park in Sheffield.

As can be ascertained from the image above the male ones tend to be quite hairy.

They are often also found in the vicinity of the outdoors, alcohol, and other relaxants.

This is a top quality electronic instrument from the mid 1990s, beloved of archaeologists.  To clarify, both the electronic instrument and the 1990s are beloved of archaeologists. (is this right? - Ed)

An impressive tool by the standards of the day.  Just point the Chronolite, for that is what it is, at a feature of the landscape and it will scan the area for historical data.

Once in the vicinity of a computer, let's say an IBM 360 series, the data could be downloaded and analysed.  A decent mainframe of the day could compose a fifteen thousand word treatise giving a breakdown of the land usage, the architectural structures that had previously existed, the colour of the ancient curtains and possibly even the material they were made from.

Who knows what incredible discoveries would be revealed if this data was being crunched by the latest IBM System z9 machines.  Unfortunately we can only speculate on this as all archaeologists are now banned from handling technology constructed after the year 2000.  This is due to complex interactions between peculiarities of post millennium bug software, fabrication of modern computational elements, and archaeologists proximity to silicon in its more basic form.

We grind our knees in anticipation of these minor setbacks being resolved by a bug fix, better sealant, and the protagonists getting a good wash.

A discovery made on this expedition can be seen quite clearly in the image below.

A giant hopscotch board revealed by the use of the prongy-proddy tool held by the be-jumpered gentleman to the left.  Believed to have been used in ancient fertility rites these huge tape squares have stood the test of time remarkably well, however I fear the jumper will now have been consumed by parasitic wasps.






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