Deep within the mouldering cavities of the Cambrian hills the last Bigfoot considers whether or not to get out the gazebo.
If the weather turns for the better then it would be good to put aside the repeats of Springwatch, get out the suncream, and then pour a decent glass of red while surveying the glorious views of the valleys. The cost of suncream for a Bigfoot shouldn't be underestimated, it does need a rather liberal amount to penetrate the thick fur.
Fur you say, shouldn't that protect the Bigfoot from the rays of the sun?
You would think so wouldn't you, but apparently it is nonsense. The Bigfoot is particularly susceptible to the bandwidth of ultra violet light and high doses of this can easily penetrate their furage. Bigfoot numbers have apparently been reducing, much to the dismay of Brian Blessed. This reduction is partially as a consequence of ozone depletion leading to greater incidence of carcinoma among Bigfoot, partially due to their difficulty in determining when not to go outside, and also partially due to their sensitive hearing which causes them to shun booming Yorkshiremen. The second of these factors has mainly been due to their inability to correctly use Shannon's equation.
Obviously the unintended consequences of our over-reliance on underarm deodorant in the 1960's and 70's, combined with our inability to detect pollution from industry for the better part of 200 years, has really caused problems to our lesser-known, mountain dwelling, relations.*
So think on.
* This is all true.
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