Well you can't have that, but, If you're an American citizen you are entitled to ...
These delightful rehydrated autumn leaves
an over-ripe pear - don't squash it in your bag
a lampshade, I'll personally illuminate it in the privacy of your own lounge
a king size fully adjustable waterproof hat, with removable brim
a Scottish clan, and some airtight Tupperware
real simulated flat-white coffee
a Mouseman mug tree
a year's subscription to The Times online
a personally defaced picture of Winston Churchill
and Justin Bieber's new unlisted cell number
a beautifully restored authentic Tory back bench
Tony Blair's vasectomy
a speed date on ice with Bruce Willis
a new Marathon, a new Snickers
a mast, a mogul, a monster
a monkey wrench, a minster spire, a meteorite
a marble, an MX, or a malibou
a millipede, some malachite, a Mac Book
a mailman, a new mumbler, or a mambo
a fitness tracker - hell an armful of fitness trackers we're givin' 'em away
or how about a McDonalds breakfast
a Las Vegas snow storm
a Mexican drought
a solid gold jewel encrusted butt plug
or high wind that might take away your roof
For official/internal use only:
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