A thousand conference calls.
1. Please join my meeting
2. Use your microphone and speakers (VoIP) - a headset is recommended. Or, call in using your telephone.
Dial +44 (0) 12 3456 7890
Access Code: 987-654-321
Audio PIN: Shown after joining the meeting
Let's dial in and get on.
Female robot voice - “Waiting for the organiser”
Person A - (drums fingers)
Person B - "Is there an agenda?"
Person D - "Just shared it with you"
Female robot voice - “The organiser has arrived”
voice a - "ok, anyone here"
voice b - "yes I’m here"
voice c - "here too"
voice d - "ye***" (vrooom parp), "yes, just on the M1, listening in" (vrooom)
voice e - "hack, cough, cough, hack, yeah, cough, here, hack"
voice f - "yes, here"
voice g - "here as well, looking for a parking space"
Person A-D - "We're all here"
voice a - "good, ok then, hope you've all had a chance to look at the agenda. I'll go through it."
voice e - "hack, cough, cough, hack, cough, hack"
voice a - "item 1. I think that's all in order" ...
Person C - "Just one thing"
voice a - "there shouldn't be any fall out from that as it's standard procedure" ...
Person C - "Just one thing"
voice a - "and any variation will be a result of natural pressures"
voice e - "hack, cough, cough, hack, cough, hack"
voice d - (vrooom parp)
Person C - "JUST ONE THING"
voice a - "Ok"
Person C - "We're seeing some anomalies with the rates, has that been recognised?"
voice a - "yes, we've picked up on that and expect that variation should now diminish."
voice e - "hack, cough, cough, hack, cough, hack"
voice g - (police siren)
Person C - "And how about" ...
voice a - "Item 2. The refresh rate of the Milton-Repton cycle is now within bounds"
Person C - "And" ...
Person A - "oh ffs"
voice a - "and we should consider this element to no longer be a problem."
voice e - "hack, cough, cough, hack, cough, hack"
voice b - (sound of wood being sawn)
voice a - "is someone doing woodwork?"
voice b - "yeah, sorry, there's a joiner fixing my stairs, I'll move to the other room."
voice c - (sound of an alarm clock going off) "apologies, it's 5am here, partner is getting up."
voice e - "hack, cough, cough, hack, cough, hack"
voice a - "moving on, item 3. The helve-prism has been refactored and the lomax-finklestein parameter is within tolerance, there's a slight blemish on the grove-schism but nothing that a refresh of the cardio-dial shouldn't resolve, there's no outstanding spikiness in the culture logs or the philistine folder, and" ...
Person A - "this voice doesn't have lungs it has a cocking blow hole, take a breath, let someone speak."
voice a - ... "the smolensk valve needs some refreshment and the griddle hole has had the requisite lubrication so I think that's about it, thanks everyone."
Person C - "We've got a further" ...
Female robot voice - “The organiser has left the meeting.”
voice e - "hack, cough, cough, hack, cough, hack"
voice d - (vroom parp)
Female robot voice - "voice d has left the meeting."
Female robot voice - "voice b has left the meeting."
Female robot voice - "voice c has left the meeting."
voice e - "hack, cough"
Female robot voice - "voice e has left the meeting."
Person C - "Hang up, this is pointless."
Some boats in conference
For official/internal use only:
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