Friday 20 November 2015

Day 399, Tubular crisp autumn leaves?


Well you can't have that, but, If you're an American citizen you are entitled to ...

These delightful rehydrated autumn leaves

an over-ripe pear - don't squash it in your bag

a lampshade, I'll personally illuminate it in the privacy of your own lounge

a king size fully adjustable waterproof hat, with removable brim


a Scottish clan, and some airtight Tupperware

real simulated flat-white coffee

a Mouseman mug tree

a year's subscription to The Times online

a personally defaced picture of Winston Churchill

and Justin Bieber's new unlisted cell number

a beautifully restored authentic Tory back bench

Tony Blair's vasectomy

a speed date on ice with Bruce Willis

a new Marathon, a new Snickers

a mast, a mogul, a monster

a monkey wrench, a minster spire, a meteorite

a marble, an MX, or a malibou

a millipede, some malachite, a Mac Book

a mailman, a new mumbler, or a mambo

a fitness tracker - hell an armful of fitness trackers we're givin' 'em away

or how about a McDonalds breakfast

a Las Vegas snow storm

a Mexican drought

a solid gold jewel encrusted butt plug

or high wind that might take away your roof






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