After years of study research has finally been published, in the Gazzetta Medica Italiana, of the effect of late night snooker watching on the enhancement of theta brain wave activity.
A number of longitudinal observational trials were carried out across a range of cohorts including control groups. The control groups were particularly tricky as it was necessary to make that cohort believe that the game they were watching was snooker when in actual fact it was golf. The control required a huge amount of effort and lifelong deception, which is far too complex to go into here but is recounted in The Chrononomicon of Machiaveli the Eye Distractor. Golf was chosen as the control due to the games interminable dullness and the possibility that it would send a viewer immediately to sleep.
The longitudinal trials confirmed the theory that theta brain wave activity was entered into more rapidly and with much deeper effect after watching late night snooker.
There was further anecdotal evidence that the activity also promoted weight loss, relaxation, and short term memory improvement, as well has having some type of effect on erectile dysfunction. Although on second thoughts I may have turned over two pages of the published research by mistake.
My own anecdotal experience appears to bear out the research - the sleep related research. Usually I find it is impossible to have a full night of uninterrupted sleep, it being common to wake three or more times. And this disturbance is not due to noisy neighbours or pre-nocturnal fluid intake. However after watching late night snooker for three evenings in succession I have had three solid nights of sleep, which is pretty impressive.
Case solved.
In conclusion I suggest that the Snooker World Championship should be held continuously throughout the year, particularly the semi-final stages.
For official/internal use only:
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