Day 636, People and process

Post it.

Post it.

Post it.

Post its.

On the walls.

On the doors.

On the windows.

On the sole of my shoes.

And we have an outcome.

A process.

Sorting, categorising, organising, dancing

The proto-process

For official/internal use only:
7777
0-9

Day 635, Long range view

Today's news will pass most people by, there being nothing happening in the world everyone will have wandered off to do some gardening, knitting, or sumo wrestling.

The news is this, I successfully managed to not transpose the 2 and the 3 in the subject line.  Or, successfully managed to get the 6 and the 3 in the right order.  Either description is correct, but doesn't rule out other correct descriptions.  Apart from that I've just noticed I said "the 2 and the 3" where what I meant was "the 6 and the 3", which suggests that the problem hasn't passed.

As you were.

And relax.

Here is a calming view, no bright colours, no scary fast-action, just a reasonably gentle stretch of water surrounded by trees.

Enjoy.

For official/internal use only:
7675
0-9

Day 634, Cat mining

Cats, they're everywhere.  Scaling high walls, staring down, spying on people, doing the bidding of Theresa May, except not quite in the 'internet spy powers' digital manner.  This unknown cat below is obviously in training.

Concerned about our new watcher-class it came as a shock to see neighbour cat Cato in the garden when I got in.  Not that the neighbour cat was there, that wasn't the shock, it was his activity.  He appeared to be digging a hole to the depth of the Mariana Trench.  At first I thought this was a typical poo-hole, but he kept digging.

And digging.

And more, frantic digging.  There must be something down there he's after

Some of the spoil from the hole was thrown against the fence, the noise surprised him and for a moment he was distracted and walked away from the hole.

Then when he returned he appeared to have forgotten the hole was there and promptly fell in.  He completely vanished for a moment.  But then he reappeared with that look of deliberate nonchalance cats get when they do something foolish.  He turned and licked his tail and rearranged some fur, all to indicate "I meant to fall into the hole, it was all deliberate."

Then he continued digging.

What on earth is down there?

He then turned his backside to the hole and did a crap in it.

Once he'd finished his business he filled the hole in, partially, and wandered off.

Not spying after all, but sort of indistinguishable from it.

For official/internal use only:
7777
0-9

Day 633, Tin Town

When my pension disappears down the pan, if it hasn't already, I'm going to move here.

Tin Town.

A well appointed row of delightful, prefabricated metal, houses.  Or at least that's what used to be there before the Howden, Derwent and Ladybower reservoirs were completed and the navvies moved on.

And here's what it looks like along that stretch of street now.

A handy reminder that when humankind has finished fucking everything up before fucking off, that nature will sort out quite a lot of the mess.






For official/internal use only:
7777
0-9

Day 632, Gourmet dish of the day

We're accustomed to being served food on a slate, we're accustomed to it arriving on a plank, but today my food arrived on a raised-bed.*

Served on a toasted, garlic-crumb base these ratatouille balls in a copse of courgette trees were quite delightful.

The table was also unique with the tablecloth being reminiscent of paving slabs, and with a cruet set fashioned in the shape of bicycles the stage was set rather like that of public plaza.

As is typical in these situations I had to go home via the chippy to fill the space around the novelty.**

* Just bring it on a plate mate.
** Jay Rayner will return with greater verbosity next week.

For official/internal use only:
7777
0-9

Day 631, Inverse giant foot alerted

Deep within the mouldering cavities of the Cambrian hills the last Bigfoot considers whether or not to get out the gazebo.

If the weather turns for the better then it would be good to put aside the repeats of Springwatch, get out the suncream, and then pour a decent glass of red while surveying the glorious views of the valleys.  The cost of suncream for a Bigfoot shouldn't be underestimated, it does need a rather liberal amount to penetrate the thick fur.

Fur you say, shouldn't that protect the Bigfoot from the rays of the sun?

You would think so wouldn't you, but apparently it is nonsense.  The Bigfoot is particularly susceptible to the bandwidth of ultra violet light and high doses of this can easily penetrate their furage.  Bigfoot numbers have apparently been reducing, much to the dismay of Brian Blessed.  This reduction is partially as a consequence of ozone depletion leading to greater incidence of carcinoma among Bigfoot, partially due to their difficulty in determining when not to go outside, and also partially due to their sensitive hearing which causes them to shun booming Yorkshiremen.  The second of these factors has mainly been due to their inability to correctly use Shannon's equation.

Obviously the unintended consequences of our over-reliance on underarm deodorant in the 1960's and 70's, combined with our inability to detect pollution from industry for the better part of 200 years, has really caused problems to our lesser-known, mountain dwelling, relations.*

So think on.

* This is all true.

For official/internal use only:
7777
0-9

Day 630, Giant foot alert

The terrifying, Odessa File, foot conspiracy.

All of the above, and more, can be yours for just £5.99 in 36 monthly instalments.

No, it's no use, I have no idea either.

Best go change socks before the bullfinch nests in them.*

* Honestly, I only had one half pint and a quarter of a game of snooker on a full sized table, I am not even slightly pissed.

For official/internal use only:
7777
0-9