Day 472, People in doorways, people in trees

Overheard Monday.*

- I'd rather listen to music than listen to a truck

- Twenty two Sambucas and I could still stand for the national anthem

- Mentholyptus aubergine pinky plumbert

- Zubhin Mehta's masterclass

- Land of the rhino horn and the lost tiger penis

- Talk to me about pensions

- Seven valves to Harpenden

- This must be their 'first taxi experience'

- We're the fifth richest country in the world and I've never seen so many homeless people

- They are people

- What the fuck are we doing

- They really are people

- Perhaps with mental health problems

- Maybe with alcohol or drug dependency

- Who wouldn't have alcohol dependency if your best choice was living in a pissy doorway

- Or none of the above, just a couple of poor choices or moments of bad luck, it is that easy

- The doorway

- People

- In doorways

- While other people dangle from trees

* Some of this was genuinely overheard.


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Day 471, No direction

Sheffield Midland station, platform 6a.

The wrong platform for where we're going.

Northern Powerhouse?

No electrification here I'm afraid.

And with the 'government' planning to close the Sheffield Business, Innovation and Skills office ...

The idea of this being a Northern Powerhouse becomes even more laughable.

Hypocrites, shysters, clowns.

The lot of 'em.

It isn't us that's on the wrong platform.

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Day 470, Levenshulme, gateway to the stars

The British amateur space programme, where is it and what is it up to?

It may not have been at the forefront of your mind but it does exist and work is underway.

In the back gardens of an ordinary Levenshulme street, we can see the tell tale signs.

Siddall Street is the place and the primary launch stages can be seen below.

Here using what appears to be basic technology is an example of first stage ignition.

The small coloured disks in a number of back gardens give it away.

Tiny children are used to bounce across increasingly larger 'trampolines'.

From garden to garden, increasing energy input, increasing height.

And the hope is to eventually gain velocity enough to achieve low Earth orbit.

People may scoff now, but what Manchester does today, the rest of the world does tomorrow.

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@53.4505081,-2.194961,70m/data=!3m1!1e3

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Day 469, Don't tip super fly

Feeling a bit fly, got cash to burn?

Even so, don't do it.

Taxi driver efficiency and lack of conversation?

Don't do it.

Great service from the waiting staff?

Don't do it.

Tipping that is, especially if you are 'super fly'.*

Otherwise you might be hit with a hefty fine.

...

Oh, hang on, I've taken something literally and out of context.

Do tip.

* As in cool, great, awesome, rather than the film of the same name.


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Day 468, The University is Open

T-shirt mechanics volume 22.

Holes are required for the arms to come out of.

And there should be an exit hole for the head.

All of the above require an aperture for entry, and the torso should gain access via the same route.

There will be an exam on this later so please take note.*

* This has no relation to the work involved in doing an OU degree.



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Day 467, Cat shed

The whiskers of the guest cat

Test the shed's insides

And rolling on the door mat

Absorbs the scents implied

By distant and departed cats

That used to here preside*

Rub, roll and spin then back upright

The cat recharged with static 

And without so much of a "Right, I'm off"

The cat disappears

Enigmatic

* 'Preside' is a word almost only ever used when trying to rhyme, 72.6% of usage in fact.




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Day 466, More string theory

At last the lengths of wire have arrived.

At last you say?

Yes, that's right, these were due some time ago.

What was the delay?

No delay, apparently they arrived last week and were left with a neighbour but Fedex didn't put a card through.

No way?

Way.

No way!

Way.

Etc.

If a prehistoric film reference of dubious quality is the best you can do then that's it, I'm leaving.

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