Week 200, Glass bird, fractured fall, red resolution

Here are my New Year resolutions, 1 to 12.

Resolution number 1: Don't make New Year resolutions, just do the thing anyway whatever the time of year. If you recognise that there is an issue then choose to address it or choose to accept it.

Resolution number 2-8: As above.

Revolution number 9: The Beatles, White Album.

The White Album transports me back to a time of bizarre, jam-jar cocktails - pre-hipster by nearly 30 years - and alcohol infused madness, I dubbed them Earthquakes after the cocktail invented by Toulouse-Lautrec.

Perhaps they weren't jam jars, maybe pickled onion jars, it matters little other than they tasted of neither jam nor pickle. What did matter was that it was a suitable receptacle for traversing the optics behind the two bars in the city centre pub where a friend worked first thing in the morning, assuming the local, small-time, gangland hatchets weren't there.

Pernod, no matter how little there is, the taste dominates.

Some problems are never addressed.

Arriving already pissed by 10am and sharing the spoils, it's odd how quickly a person can get used to that amount of strong alcohol at that time of day.

And she continued, where I never could.

No resolution.

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Week 199, Park Like a Joyrider episode 2/2

And the winner is!

As evidenced by the numerous endorsements applied to the windscreen this car was the favourite of the judging panel.

Unusually there was not much finesse or technique present, but I cannot question the impartiality of the judges.

A sure-fire sign that this was a worthy contender is the position of the rump.

The rear of the vehicle is teasingly placed well into the path of traffic on the adjacent main road.

This entrant was well aware that the "20MPH" signs on the below road are rarely observed.

Just one example of the use of initiative - it isn't just the transport, it is the environment too.

Observe the single wheel on the pavement and the breaching of the double-yellow lines.

And the expected blocking of the main pavement route.

These are a gentle nod to the nature of the competition.

Not going over the top to impress, a small collection of well calculated infringements.

Winning two stick-on tickets and a paper commendation under the passenger windscreen wiper.

Well done.

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Week 198, Park Like a Joyrider 2018 episode 1/2

No this driver has not lost their marbles, they are a competing in this year's Park Like a Joyrider contest.

A new entrant with a new style.

No dangerous bodywork on the vehicle restricts the opportunity for snagging innocent parties.

However, there is a clearly deliberate complete failure to achieve congress with a provided parking space.

And indeed the space is also blocked for anyone else that may wish to use it.

There is also a beautifully blocked pavement in two directions, that's a little touch of class.

A promising start for this one

Areas for refinement next year could be:

Dangle of the rear end into the 'live' road area.

A broken wing mirror with shards of glass.

Rear wiper blade missing and the wiper poking out perpendicular to the vehicle.

A deflated tyre.

Use some initiative and try to improvise, no marks will be lost for experimentation.

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Week 197, The cusp of 90K

Here we are at the heady, 88,999 mile mark.

A Nazi being pursued by the forces of law and order, exactly as it should be.*

Time to weigh it in.

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* 88 is a hate symbol used by right-wingers.

Week 196, Not letting the grass grow

The work on Firth House - a listed Georgian building on Wilkinson Street, Sheffield, once owned by Mark Firth the Victorian steel tycoon - is cracking on a-pace.

Over the last two years there have been, on average, almost yearly deliveries of builders supplies - specifically a batch of breeze blocks and a large bag of building sand, delivered two years ago, on the same day.

At this rate by the turn of the next century millennium the building may be in tip-top condition.

Keep up the good work chaps!*

The grass certainly isn't growing under their feet.**

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* They will almost invariably be chaps, and the slow work is almost certainly the responsibility of whoever owns the place who has given up.
** If you haven't spotted the bag of sand then look at it now, that's the joke - over-explaining in the manner of Take a Break or similar publications...

Week 195, Spinward, Rimward, Coreward, Trailing

"This is Free Trader Beowulf, calling anyone...

Mayday, Mayday..."*

...

We will not make the leap to the stars.

Interstellar travel will not become as common as international travel is today.

But we can still travel the universe in our dreams.

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* Traveller™ Science-Fiction Adventure in the Far Future

Week 194, Exactly what it was

Although what it actually was is lost in the mist of time.

It could be Multiplan.

It could be PC-Write.

It could be dBase.

It could be a variety of things.

However, after thirty years it may not be verbatim.*

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* Although who knows, without some sort of reading device...

Week 193, Cone but not forgotten

This was the scene on Northumberland Road a few days ago.

Now the road is back to normal, with cars parked along the entire length unhindered.

But still I remember it.*

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* I had to wake very early and block a load of traffic, a lot of work for a cheap pun, but worth it I feel.

Week 192, VMUG

Virtual Machines.

That's my reusable bag.*

Man.**

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* Taking advantage of five (5) plus decades of slang.
** In the argot.

Week 191, The Tattooed Hand

Across the great expanse of porkpie hats Holmes stared with an expression of abject horror. Far be it from him to be effusive on any subject beyond his own realm of experience, and Ska was not high up on that list, but this was a scene he would not readily speak of again for some time.

Here Homes was, now being offered a drink of something called 'lager' yet that which was in possession of a foaming head and a warmth somehow reminiscent of the process of micturition. An unprepossessing cordial. Holmes put his own feelings out of the picture and engaged with the vulgar liquid with an air of great relish. The porkpie hats, despite the previous indication presented by their dress and appearance, proceeded to laugh with an hitherto unrecognised hysteria. It became apparent to Holmes that there was some humour being enjoyed at his expense. Holmes maintained a silence and grimness of aspect despite this tawdry provocation.

One of the porkpie hats offered to make up for this singular and disagreable instance by purchasing a 'chaser' for Holmes. Holmes would not hear of it and disconnected from the engagement, for at that moment his eyes alighted on the subject matter of his search.

The tattooed hand.*

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* Honestly, what do you want for free? Eh? EH?

Week 190, Living it up royally

Booze, I expect, that must be on the list.

A bejewelled hat worn at a jaunty angle.

An innate sense of superiority and confidence borne out of the expectation that the world really does owe you a living.

Legal high - or illegal high that is of course 'not', what with it being excused for you in some way, "pressure of command".

More booze, always the more booze ethic.

Rolling in at dawn, unless you are the actual monarch.

Means never having to say you're sorry.

A moment of leaping around that leads to healthy blood pressure, if somewhat heightened heart rate.*

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* If any of this has inadvertently made any sense please feel free to lodge a complaint with your local Fount of Justice.

Week 189, Final training notes

I'm doing The Big Walk 2018 in support of the Sheffield Scanner.

I walked part of the route again this week on Saturday 16 June starting from the same point as outlined in the previous walk-notes.

This week was very different. The weather was much cooler and there was a good deal of rain throughout the walk.  Up near Redmires I decided to put on my thin fleece (8 quid from Go Outdoors) thereby spoiling my Northern credentials. I only intended to wear the fleece briefly while the wind picked up but as soon as I put it on the rain started coming down quite heavily, I still had my bag open so quickly pulled out my thin waterproof jacket and put that on over the top.

Going was pretty good for the first 12km (7.5m). I'd got stuck with the fleece on and was getting overly hot but had rolled it up so the effect was minimised, I really should have taken it off though. At this point I started to climb and overheat just as the weather again took a turn for the worse, the rain increased from a background level of annoyance to something more unpleasant. I decided to put my waterproof trousers on to prevent my shorts getting too wet. I was so hot by the time I got to the top of the hill that I took them off again - sweat was pouring out of them. It was an interesting insight in to physiological activity, I was surprised at how much perspiration I was producing, I know I produce a lot but this was startling.

Walking along the to to Derwent edge I had the jacket open and pushed round the back of my pack and the fleece still rolled up, the jacket effectively became a cape, any rain that landed on my front must have evaporated off rapidly as I didn't notice any discomfort. I still didn't take the fleece off.

By the time I reached The Dukes Road, the long and desolate part of the walk, I was feeling quite fatigued. I had done a very rapid walk earlier in the week where I had walked/run the return stage and I felt that I hadn't fully recovered. It was only at the end of this section, the drop down into Low Bradfield, that I removed the fleece - I'd been wringing the sweat out of the sleeves for some time, I'd noticed they'd got considerably heavier as time went on... I must have wrung a decent sized cup full out - lovely. When I finally took the fleece off it was absolutely drenched.

Things to note number one: Extreme exercise in the week before this extended physical activity was not a good idea, I'd not replenished the energy needed and physically hadn't fully recovered, I felt more tired throughout.

Things to note number two: The soaked fleece affected my physiological response to the activity, wearing clothing which doesn't hold sweat against the body is normally advised for this reason and I'd fallen foul of that.

Things to note number three: Even though it was a cold day I drank almost the same amount of water as previously on the baking hot day. I did walk some distance further but hadn't drunk very much in that additional leg. I drank about 2.5 litres.

Things to note number four: I was expecting to get a bus back home for the final part of the walk, however there had been an incident no buses were running due to the road being blocked. This added quite a bit of extra, steep hill walking to the end of the day, an additional 4km (2.5m). If I'd pushed myself to the absolute limit I would not made it up the final hill. In one respect I feel as though I ought to have used more effort earlier although conditions didn't really allow it, and in another respect I feel that unless the final destination includes a guaranteed lift, or is your front door, then pushing to the absolute limit is foolhardy and has the additional risk that over-stretching will prevent reaching the final destination.

Things to note number five: I saw hardly anyone for the middle 6 hours of the 8 hours I was out. The weather played a part in this. I wouldn't have done this without being prepared but even being prepared doesn't remove risk. I'm also comfortable with my own company for extended periods, I can imagine some people would find The Dukes Road a psychological test - post-apocalyptic, desolate, a never-ending labyrinthine route in Hades, make of it what you will, I was talking to myself even more than usual during this part.

Here's a view of The Wheel Stones taken at 10am, about 3 hours in. This is the first time I've not seen anyone clambering about on it. The sky looks surprisingly blue, there was only light rain at this point.

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Week 188, Training walk notes

I'm doing The Big Walk 2018 in support of the Sheffield Scanner. 

I walked part of the route this morning, 31km (19.2 miles). Starting from the 51 terminus I walked to the Redmires Conduit to join the route. Even at 8am it was obvious that it was going to be a very hot day - which hadn't matched with the weather forecast.

First thing to note, I carry a lot of water. I tend to walk with a brisk pace, I pour with sweat even on the coldest days when walking and don't need any layers other than a thin walking top and shorts.  I started with 3 litres of water.

Second thing to note, I was carrying a lot of additional equipment. I wasn't expecting it to be this hot and know that the weather can turn quite rapidly, there were parts of the route I hadn't walked and didn't know what to expect. I was wearing lightweight Merrell walking shoes but had a pair of boots attached to the back of my pack just in case, I had two spare pairs of socks, a thin fleece, a waterproof top and waterproof trousers and other bits and pieces. I've got wet when walking before and it is miserable, however I think I can dispense with the boots and some of the other items now I know the terrain, the only chance of getting wet is if there is torrential rain.

Third thing to note, the roughness of the terrain. I've often been down the Loxley valley to Low Bradfield and am comfortable with that, the same is true of the route out to Stanage Edge. Most of the rest of the route isn't particularly hard going, however, the 2km/1.25miles leading up to Derwent edge was quite hard going wearing walking shoes. I expect wearing boots for that section would make some difference but the diameter of the rocks laid to make to prevent erosion has created a very uncomfortable surface to walk on - and it is a decent gradient uphill too.  This was up through Highshaw Clough and up past the Grouse Butts. Other parts of the route across White Tor, Derwent Edge to Back Tor are slightly rocky in places but no big deal.  After Back Tor it becomes very dull for a very long time, there is no cover, it is almost completely featureless apart from the heather and the bits of wildlife, and it goes on, and on, and on. Almost 10km of this, nearly 6 miles. It's a relief to see trees above the dams at Bradfield.

Fourth thing to note, the fields above Bradfield contain some interesting wildlife. I almost stood on an Aberdeen Angus, which you would think quite difficult for something the size of a 4 by 4, it was lying down so was only the size of small 4 x 4. It appeared to be as surprised by me as I was by it, and then there was another one not far from that which was standing and pointing it's massive horns in my direction. They appeared unconcerned so I walk on muttering to myself, which the third one (again completely invisible until this point) heard and decided was some sort of call which it chose to respond to. Actually the first one of these three looked more like some sort of bull and distinctly not like the other two which were definitely highland cattle. It was either a very benign bull or not a bull, either way it was a monster of a beast.

Once I hit Low Bradfield I caught the bus back into Hillsborough and then another to Crookes.

During the walk I consumed 3 bananas, 3 energy bars and 2.75 litres of water. I took 5 hours thirty minutes to do this stretch, that includes having a chat with other colleagues doing training I passed on the way.

I'm now going to have a beer, it is standard advice for replenishing nutrients, electrolyte and minerals after this type of activity.

A big sky - approaching The Wheel Stones (coach and horses rock formation)

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Week 187, Unidentified waterfowl

In lieu of any form of decent photographic representation I have here a Google 'auto-awesome' panorama created from my attempts to get an image of this floating-wildlife which I'd captured for later identification.

It is too small for any practical purpose.

Even the original makes it hard-pressed to identify - unless of course you are knowledgable in this realm.

The realm of wildlife identification that is.

There were a pair of them, black face and beak/bill, a lighter bit on the top of the head, white body, darker (grey/pink, who knows, I'm red/green colour blind so haven't a clue) along the wings and much darker at the tail.*

They refused to answer my question "what are you?" so are probably non-native monoglots and didn't understand what I was saying.

That is all.

* A bit like a black headed gull but with a different coloured hat and not as distinct towards the rear.

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Week 186, Moon shot

It was a beautifully clear night yesterday evening, I noticed that the moon was visible through the upstairs window so I thought I'd see if I could get a rapid shot of it. I'd just heard that Alan Bean, the last of the astronauts from the Apollo 12 mission, had died. I'd followed all of the moon landings, one of my earliest memories is watching the Apollo 11 landing at nearly 3am UK time after my parents got me out of bed and there's a fascination in it that still remains.

Twelve astronauts from six Apollo missions walked on the moon and there are now only four still alive. I'm not convinced we'll go to the moon again, given the nature of the cost and funding, not unless the peculiar anti-science stance in certain sectors of leadership changes. So their twelve sets of footprints will be an out-of-sight memory of those events. And I'm not sure what there is to be gained by returning unless it is used as a jumping off point for further exploration.

Whatever happens, the moon will outlast us all, and if it doesn't we'll be in serious bother.

Hello Moon!

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Week 185, Training walk pole-dance

I went for a short walk on Thursday in preparation for The Big Walk, a charity event due on 22 June. This was essentially a dress rehearsal or 'walk simulation' as it might be dubbed, and I set off along Rivelin Valley away from the city.

After an hour I was already starting to feel tired, I was pouring with sweat and it occurred to me that there was no way I was going to make the distance I intended, that of 24km (15miles). At the ninety minute mark I sat down for the only time during the walk, this was a break of 2 minutes at the top of Wyoming Brook where I took off my Camelbak and my t-shirt (to give it some air...) and ate a banana. I put everything back on and continued with my march and within 10 minutes the banana, a fruit that I'm not particularly keen on, had taken effect and I felt reinvigorated. I suspect the glasses of wine the night before, and the single Weetabix covered in natural yoghurt and honey I'd had for breakfast, weren't the ideal training diet. I ate an energy bar as I carried on and picked up the pace toward Stanage Pole.

My feet had been feeling sore since about the hour mark, but as I approached 2 hours in it was obvious that what I thought earlier were potentially walk-ending blisters were nothing more than just general foot heat. This heat was somewhat surprising as walking isn't new to me. There was quite a bit of interesting wildlife, I saw the head of some strange creature that I assumed was a type of fancy chicken until the whole body appeared, I checked later and it turned out to be a lapwing.

It was quite windy approaching the pole and there was what looked like horizontal rain blowing across in front of me. This was dust from dry weather on the moors and from where one of the Redmires tree plantations had been chopped down.

Walking along Stanage Edge it was very windy, quite a few walkers were wrapped up like it was midwinter, but as they'd walked up from being parked on the road they weren't keeping warm from the fire generated by calorie burning - they looked at me as though I was mad for wearing a t-shirt and shorts. There were a few climbers up there and one person painting a watercolour of the valley below, their canvas was well held to their easel by numerous points and was weighted down. There was little to see due to the dust but the painter had probably been there from before the visibility had gone, they certainly had a more detailed image than was currently available, maybe they were painting from memory.

I clambered around Cowper Stone and dropped down and made my way to Burbage Bridge. At this point I didn't fancy the road and a walk to Ringinglow so I turned and retraced my steps to Redmires and then back to Crosspool along the road. The walk came to 30.1km in total (18.6 miles) and for the last couple of km I was definitely feeling as though I'd done a bit of exercise. I thought it was a decent test and have a good idea of where to tweak my footwear, clothing and what I take with me in the bag (no camera next time, too bulky, too heavy, no point), so next time out I'll see what differences those changes make.

This is what it's for -

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/andy-horne-tbw

In the heart of the dust storm stands a muppet headed man

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Week 184, Post-millennial angst

Listening to The News Quiz on the Home Service - or wireless 4 as I know it, or indeed BBC Radio 4 to anyone born after Thatcher - I discover that I have now been moved, evicted from Generation X to that of the status of Baby Boomer.

Sod that.

I'm the very definition of a 'latchkey kid', disaffected youth with the characteristics of that of a slacker and being influenced by hip-hop and grunge.

For goodness sake I couldn't afford to buy a house until I was in my forties, come on now, how un-Boomer is that?

So who falls for this categorisation? - well, me clearly as I'm mightily unimpressed by being moved from the way more hip sounding X generation to the frankly staid Boomer...

Obviously, being of the X generation I have great cynicism about this type of arbitrary demographic categorisation. However, Wikipedia has this to say about Generation X:

Guides regarding managing multiple generations in the workforce describe Gen Xers as: independent, resourceful, self-managing, adaptable, cynical, pragmatic, skeptical of authority, and as seeking a work life balance.

In the United Kingdom, a 2016 study of over 2,500 office workers conducted by Workfront found that survey respondents of all ages selected those from Generation X as the hardest-working employees in today's workforce (chosen by 60%). Gen X was also ranked highest among fellow workers for having the strongest work ethic (chosen by 59.5%), being the most helpful (55.4%), the most skilled (54.5%), and the best troubleshooters/problem solvers (41.6%).

And who am I to argue with the amassed knowledge and accuracy of Wikipedia.  Just be sure not to put us X'ers in the wrong category, otherwise we will rise up against you, and your authority will be tested severely.

...if we can get round to it.*

Me in grunge mode, too poor to afford sleeves

* The slacker instinct is still strong.

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Week 183, Piet Mondrian delivery

As much as the Spanish Inquisition was generally expected, this pastiche of Piet Mondrian was unexpected.

The delivery of the avant-garde.


Fun fact number one - 

After Mondrian moved from the Netherlands to join the Parisian avant-garde he dropped an 'a' from his name.


Fun fact number two - 

These boxes contain a type of fastener referred to as an 'anchoring system', colloquially they are Hilti bolts.


Fun fact number three - 

Aardvark is not the first word in the modern dictionary, and neither is Mondriaan.


Fun fact number four - 

The avant-garde may be considered modernist and 'old hat' yet it continues to appear when unforeseen.


Fun fact number five -

People almost always already know most of the 'facts' on those website lists of 'things you didn't know'.


Bonus fun fact - 

'a', the indefinite article and the first item listed in the dictionary, has more than a score definitions.

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Week 182, Hidden gems of Sheffield

Having walked past here a thousand times I'd never really noticed this Georgian row properly.

Built in 1791 during the reign of George III.

On the left Venture Works, the home of Herbert M Slater, formed in 1853.

And on the right Hallam House, both Grade II listed and built at the same time.

The building in the middle doesn't appear to be listed even though it is part of the same construction.

The windows are altered out of character with the style of the building.

Presumably these alterations, made after 1965, predate any requirement to keep it original.

As can be seen in the linked image above this Georgian row continued for some distance down Arundel Street.

Until the rest were demolished for some reason. 

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Week 181, Stuff about stuff about stuff

Too many interests.

Watering down how much can be done and reducing the quality of any output.

Looking at Google+, yes there are a some of us that do that.

Here's some discussion about a guitar.

Guitars I really like.

Spending time looking at them and associated technology, picking one up and noodling for a bit.

Then there's a 6502 microprocessor discussion to get drawn in to.

Looking at projects and quirks of different designs provides diversion - the soldering iron may make an appearance.

Then there are the other dozen things.

Too much.

Nobody can know everything about anything now, never mind everything about everything.

But there's so much stuff out there, all available in a few clicks.

Fun but not ultimately satisfying, it would be better to know an enormous amount about a limited number of things.

Or more particularly, a thing.

Rather than marginally more than bugger all about loads of things.

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Week 180, Live stream

No buffering here

Filtered content

Passing beneath

A dark web of intrigue

When monitoring a watercourse 

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Week 179, These are not the tapes you are looking for

A long time ago in a data centre far, far away...

There was a dark recess

Where after a time light shone in

Unnatural light

Mercury vapour stimulated by electric current 

Producing ultraviolet radiation

Creating an unpleasant glow from a tubular phosphor surface

Urgh

However, that doesn't answer the question

What were the tapes?*†

* Some may say they are for a Panasonic real to real tape recorder

† Some say this cupboard was used for backup tapes

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