Week 113, Now Get Out of That

Here to there?

Many have done this sort of thing.  On either outward bound courses, management training courses, leadership courses or other such events that pitch a disparate band of people together with the objective of finding out the qualities of each member to get them working as a functional unit.

It's a little like The Dirty Dozen but without the prison sentence, The Magnificent Seven but without the horses, but mostly like It Ain't Half Hot Mum but without the jungle. 

We've all done it, haven't we?  Feel free to plead ignorance.

So what in this instance is the challenge you now face?

Let me read the instructions.

You are here, as can be determined by the fact that you have a level of awareness of being who you are and in a location that you are at.  The location you are at is not the location that we would like you to remain at, in fact we would like you to be over there.

No, not just over the other side of the large body of water, but yes you do have to cross the large body of water.  What we want is for you to get from here to the top of the hill in the distance, the bit of hill where there is still some snow.  And we want you to do that using the equipment we have provided for you.

First remove all of your clothes.

What?

Yes, clothes are a hindrance.  We have provided some bin liners and gaffer tape for you to improvise some waterproof clothing.  It is better not to attempt to cross the water wearing your normal outdoor clothing as it is likely to get wet and drag you down below the surface where you will be eaten by humpbacked Neguala monsters with two mouths.  Neguala monsters find bin liners particularly unappetising so they will provide some level of protection.

You're kidding?

You don't believe in Neguala monsters?  Suit yourself, don't complain to me as you're having both your legs removed from above the knee by a complete set of razor sharp teeth each housed in a separate mouth on the same creature.

Is this really a sensible course of action?  Anyone?

Once fully attired the team must fashion a device to carry this life-sized spun-sugar sculpture of Freddie Mercury to the target location ensuring it sustains as little damage as possible.  To assist in your task you have also been given a 2m roll of jumbo bubble wrap, twenty duck egg shells, some lint, a Lidl Christmas wreath, and some hummus.  You may also make use of found objects - this does not include human artefacts other than those which have passed through the digestive tract.

You have 120 minutes, starting now!

What?

Oh for goodness sake - ok team, we can do this, does anyone have any knitting needles?

Team?  Where've you gone?  Come back, I'm not bloody doing this on my own!

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