"I vant to be alone" Cheese on toast

This'll clear out the tubes, it's a possible hangover tonic, potential swine flu preventative, uncertain cure for black death and an underarm deoderant to repel snakes.

Required ingredients:
Mature Cheddar cheese
1 Onion
English Mustard
1 large garlic clove per slice of bread
Bread, unsliced wholemeal

On no account ever use an ingredient labelled 'mild' unless it is a beer, and you like that sort of thing.

I go for two slices of bread. Cut using a bread knife, if you are feeling a bit 'under the weather' then be careful with that part, no point in losing a finger or two, and don't used sliced white bread for goodness sake!

Toast your slices on one side, turn over and apply thin layer of English mustard to each. Place your not too thinly sliced onion on top, break the onion slices in to rings first. Put your mature Cheddar cheese on top of the onion, either slab slices or grated. Pop back under the grill.

When the cheese is over midway through cooking, partially to well melted on top, crush a large garlic clove on to each slice. That's a clove per slice of bread. You can use more if you really want to be alone for a while longer. If using a garlic crusher make sure the last of the stuff stuck in the crusher goes on top of the cheese too.

Put back under the grill and cook for a short while, don't cook too long or the garlic will become bitter, longer and it will burn.

Eat it. You should also have a large cup of tea as well. Best make a pot.

I don't get hangovers, I obviously don't drink enough, but this works for me, I've never had Lassa fever, Bilharzia or Beriberi, I'm not sure it is down this revitalising snack, but you never know.

Stink the unstinkable "because the answer is often behind you, behind you, behind you", and in a few hours...