Day 56, not the Eiffel Tower

Of all the iron towers the world has to offer then surely this one in Blackpool is the tallest.  If there's another taller one then I've not heard of it.

To demonstrate the incredible height there's a flimsy layer of glass between the human feet here and the oblivion beneath. It barely managed to withstand my 90kg mass, I expect the next person to stand on it went clean through without jumping up and down on it as I had.

It's quite possible that many have previously gone through the glass and fallen to their demise, witness the outline of a body chalked on the roof below next to the word 'ouch'.  The addition of the word 'ouch' though seems to suggest not so much instant, face-flattening, death so much as a minor bruising inconvenience.  Maybe the roof is made of cardboard boxes and crash mats.

Return tomorrow when there may be news of other, even smaller, iron towers.

Day 55, ostler

The outrage over horse meat being found in ready meals a couple of years back was curious.  Quite a few people were upset that they were eating Dobbin.  They should have been rather more pissed off that big business doesn't give a monkeys about what they are popping in their pies as long as the shareholders are happy.

This contrived opening is purely to provide a vehicle to show this picture of my Great Grandfather.  He was at some times employed as an ostler, and was reputed to be able to talk to horses - surely that only really has any meaning if the horse can understand and maybe can even answer back?

He also, according to my Grandmother, would occasionally serve up unidentified meat that he assured her wasn't horse.  That would have been in the 1920s.

What a spiffing looking chap.

Day 54, underwhelming

Ah, online shopping.  Wouldn't it be great if the supermarket giant that now has a list of our groceries would now allow us to pay for them without a 'gateway timeout'.  This is becoming slightly tedious, hopefully the £10 voucher they sent to compensate for piss poor performance last time hasn't been lost due to piss poor performance this time.  Ha.

Day 53, armchairmageddon

Apparently it's going to be windy over the next few days.  This is exciting stuff as the windows are also being replaced.  It'll be marginally like sleeping rough, except without getting wet, without being outside, being able to keep warm, and having hot food and drink.  So not really that much like it.  I expect that having newspaper blowing around might be somewhat like being outside and living in a skip, hopefully that won't happen.

Batten down the hatches.  Ah, no, that isn't going to help.

Day 52, loose and lost update

I've been monitoring the progress of the roadside baguette and the pathway glove. As seen here in episode 41.

Good news.  This week the pathway glove has disappeared.  I can only assume it has been successful in its venture to reach new lands.  That is the only reasonable outcome, no sensible person could possibly dispute that assumption.

The baguette however tells a sorry tale.  It is still with us, gently corroding.  There may be an opportunity to see an image of this relic soon - assuming it hasn't completely melted away before then.

Day 51, half arsed

Nothing says it's Christmas like a fully dressed tree.

Here we see a fine example on Sheffield Railway Station.

If we ignore the positioning, which makes it lean over to the right.  And if we ignore the way it's supported by being tied to the iron-work about a metre in the wrong direction, which makes it lean over forward towards the top.  Then those lovely galvanised barriers make the display complete.  Those portable, expandable, tape barriers that we see all over a railway station - typically in the ticket queues - would have been far too neat.  No, what was needed to finish it off was the "here's a hole, don't fall in!" effect.

Well done to all involved for completing the "we couldn't really be that bothered" laid-back image that we want to project.  It was never like this before privatisation.

Day 50, the penalty

Another round of the FA Cup.  Sheffield United of League 1 (it's the third division) hosted Plymouth Argyle of League 2 (that's the fourth division) in the second round of the Cup competition.

It's always an opportunity for the lower league opposition to bite the backside of the team further up in the hierarchy.  And with the only relatively slight differences between the quality contained within the lower divisions it is much more likely that there is a result that doesn't reflect the teams positions.

However it wasn't Argyle's day.  They were presented with a penalty opportunity shortly after the start of the second half, and when Reuben Reid stepped up to take the kick it should have been the lower team that took the lead.  Reid shot to the right, the keeper dived to the left, the ball sailed past the wrong side of the top right corner of the goal.  There was a mighty roar of hilarity from the home fans, and then on with the game.

Oddly for United they were playing two up front.  This was the result of a substitution at half time.  Many of the fans are not old enough to have seen such a thing.  Two strikers on the pitch has been unheard of for many years, and in fact there is a worn out strip of grass in front of each goal where the normally isolated figure has been gently moving backward and forward like a plastic table football player.

There was a foray forward, a player fell over in the box, and the referee now gave a penalty to the home side.  No United player had appealed for a penalty and neither had the home fans, but the referee seemed to think it was one so let's take it.  Jose Baxter made no mistake and scored.

There was some more relatively threatening play from the home side.  Jamie Murphy was tripped outside the penalty area, kept on his feet and tried to play on but eventually fell over.  The referee gave another penalty to United, again with no significant appeals.  It was a free kick if anything.  The referee then booked a player for protesting, he booked the wrong player.  Again Jose Baxter stepped up to take the penalty, and again scored.

Here is Baxter about to take the second penalty.

Argyle now didn't really have much of a response although they tried to press United.  Argyle left themselves exposed to the extent that they allowed Baxter to demonstrate how good a forward he is in presenting him with an opportunity to get a hat-trick.  He of course missed a sitter.  He isn't a striker.

Baxter was replaced by Florent Cuvelier late on in the game.  Cuvelier has been missing due to injury since probably sometime before the corn laws were repealed, although given that he is young enough to run around like he did I suspect my memory is at fault.  He popped up in all sorts of places and looks to be a decent quality player, all be it against a now shambolic opposition.  Cuvelier then did some great work and provided the assist for Mark McNulty to score a goal from open play.  If it wasn't already over for Argyle then this will have had their fans now thinking about the immense journey home with no chance of reward.  It was also satisfying to score a proper goal and have the feeling that the win was deserved.

The bite-sized takeaways from this game:
The officials for this were as poor as for many league matches down here in the lower reaches.
Plymouth Argyle got the worst end of the decisions.
Goalkeepers jigging sideways up and down their line doesn't do them any favours.
Playing two strikers cheers up the crowd.
United look slightly better when playing lower league teams - sometimes.
It was quite cold.

Hello the next round draw!

***Edit***
Having seen the replay of the incidents I can see I was wrong.  They were penalties, soft maybe, but they were the correct decisions.  Who'd be a referee!