Day 691, Music Archaeology

John - Well that's great news isn't it?

Yoko - There's no rhyme or reason for such gnomic comment, what are you on about?

John - The return of the classic dole-card band from the 70's or 80's, I forget which.*

Yoko - Oh yes, I used to have one of them, a UB40, the government document.

John - Indeed**, here they are - or at least one of the two bands claiming to be UB40 - back hard on the heels of their bringing down Thatcher success.

Yoko - Wasn't that The Beat that got Margaret to stand down?

John - Apologies, my mistake, to be fair I had been dead a couple of years by the time it was released.

Yoko - Hopefully since JC unveiled UB40 as the voice of someone's youth then all new Labour policies will at least rhyme even if the reason is somewhat lacking.

John - Yeah, we'd all love to see the plan.***

Yoko - Shall we start over?

John Lennon. (Just Like) Starting Over - 1980

* The 70's or 80's, not the band.
** Yoko did an album about her dole years.
*** What more do you want, this is a free publication.

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Day 690, Eaten clean off

They were there, now they're gone.

Forty of them.

In no time.

Who would have thought the sprouting leaves of onions were that attractive to passing trade.

Forty.

In a matter of days.

Tsk.*

Did I mention that there were forty of them?

* The usual contributor is in a strop.

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Day 689, The birds

The birds
I can tell there are loads of them
But I can't tell what they are
Maybe if they could tell me
Perhaps they can be trained

I'd like the birdsong piped in
Everywhere
During dreams
In the office*
Down corridors
Birdsong
Everywhere

They're all welcome
Except the ones that ate my onion tops
They really need to take a good hard look at themselves**

* We all dream in the office, don't deny it.
** Wood pigeon, I'm talking about you.

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Day 688, Heavy Duty

A few evenings consumed by work, not that heavy duty but a mild additional stress to carry on beyond the end of the working day.

Of course it would be preferable without it, but progress often means a small amount of inconvenience, and knowing it will ultimately make things easier to manage is a good spur.

The better the preparation, the smaller the number of follow-on issues - there are always follow-on issues, no matter how much we try to cut them out, as there are things which are out of our control.

Even apparently simple things are very much more complex behind the scenes, that's the theatre of service provision.*

Here is a box of Heavy Duty Blades.**

* Oh the trauma of the performance arts.
** Running on empty.

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Day 687, Head Space

It's often been said that it helps to have somewhere to put your head.*

Well worry no more, for here we have the Schuberth head-berth, available from all good head shops.

They may also sell berths for shoes, I didn't ask.

This funky head protection device features a storm trooper style, half-height, drop-down tinted eye shield.**

And what's more it comes with free fly-parts, some of which can be seen still stuck to the front.***

* Has it?
** Not seen here, probably invisible to CCD's.
*** Actually I cleaned them off, it's probably dust rather than legs.

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Day 686, Magic Ali’s Gallic radio return

Being a fan of the least-effort-expended absorption method of learning I was listening to France Info, a French radio station, on the internet the other night.  I hoped I would magically become fluent while listening to the radio and simultaneously doing evening server work.  My understanding of what was being spoken was limited, in fact it wouldn’t be unreasonable to say my French is dire.*

It struck me that the French people in this discussion programme had a peculiar interest in British late twentieth century comic magicians, in particular they kept talking about Ali Bongo.

Ali Bongo was a magician who was active from around 1960, he was a member of the Inner Magic Circle and had been the Magic Circle Magician of the Year in 1972.  He had worked as a consultant on many television programmes and had had a very successful international career.  He died in 2009.

I was greatly amused to believe that there was such depth of interest in the deceased theatrical deceiver that it could prompt thirty minutes of continuous discussion, and continued to be amused for some time.

It wasn’t until a day later, on hearing the news in English, that I discovered the reason for this apparent Bongo fury.  A completely different Ali Bongo had become president of Gabon in 2009 and had just been re-elected, and his re-election had prompted violence including some deaths.

This shows just how rubbish my French is and sheds a different light on 'false friends'.

* Yeah, that's rubbish, sorry.

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Day 685, Garden tidy

Gardening can be a time consuming process.

It can often feel as though no progress is being made even though enormous effort is expended.

Well fret no more.

Here's the answer - and it really works.

Incremental application of endeavour, just a small amount each day, will reveal astonishing results.

Just see below for the effect, this took me only 10 days.

Spend as little as 30 minutes per evening and within no time you too will have a garden that looks like this.

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