Week 166, Pitch it

We are constantly encouraged to save money, make do on a smaller budget, to show prudence.

How can we re-work a big-budget TV show to make best use of a small pot of cash?

My proposal is this.

A TV production that has no need for the high cost of other programmes.

One where costumes are not an issue.

No one needs miss a step.

Celebrities not required.

All shot on location at a local car park.

It doesn't require a host, not a conventional one at least.

The non-host rarely has to appear on screen and is mainly voice-over.

It doesn't even need a film crew, just a few well placed CCTV cameras to catch the lack of action from all angles.

It can be broadcast live the action edited down for a highlights package.

Strictly No Parking.

Cars.

Not parking.

Unless of course a car does park, at which point we can get that bald bloke who shouts at people on daytime TV.

Dom, is that him?  The bloke that makes a big deal out of a housing benefit overpayment.

I'm sure he'd do it for nowt more than a bag of jellied eels.*

Here's Dom accosting an elderly lady that is lost and isn't sure where to park.

He'll speak reasonably with her face to face, but on the voice-over he'll ridicule her for her lack of parking acumen.

Ideal.

Although having thought about it that's an approximate definition of actual, current daytime TV anyway.

Back to the drawing board.

* Yes, a bag of them, it's all part of the cost saving.

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Week 165, Chocolate bitcoin

Got myself some solid, gold-coloured, chocolate fake-coin.

Barely accepted by anyone.

Transactions not subject to taxation.

What's the difference between the value of this and the 'value' of bitcoin?

Well, I can unpeel these and eat them, which is very satisfactory.

Whereas your bitcoin isn't edible.

Bitcoin transactions only take place where other people want to believe there is value.

Whereas with actual (and chocolate) cash the belief isn't so flimsy, although ultimately based on the same principle.

Backed globally by nations and regulation, that belief in real currency will be hard to shift.

Whereas once the Emperor is revealed to have crypto-clothing made from bitcoin your trousers will vanish.*

You'll be left out of, and without, pocket, not having the wherewithal to buy even a cardboard space shuttle.

*I make no apology for clunky metaphors.

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Week 164, An OK day

Early morning.

While en route to talk to health researchers about optimising the configuration of their half a million quid data gathering device I pass this street suggestion.

Don't set your expectations too high and perhaps you won't be disappointed.

As it happens the conversation was more productive than that, even if the rest of the day regressed to the mean.

I'll take that as a win.

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Week 163, Cool runnings

Running around in the snow.

Best pace 4:34, but only very briefly on a downhill.

What's the point of this?

One target is doing 1500m in under 7:05, my best (and only) time back in 1980(?), which was a slow time even for a 15 year old.  Once this isn't a mix of walking and running that time ought to come down.

Which leads to another target, that of running without interspersing with recovery walks.

Further to that, lose weight, which might help when going uphill - the uphills are currently run at not much over walking pace, and given that Sheffield is mostly hills...

How is this being achieved?

Using the very handy program from the book The Rough Guide To Running.  That's the 5k section finished, it consists of four weeks of three sessions of running each week.  Each week the intensity and duration is gradually increased, the increase is gradual enough to prevent over-stress and injury.  Below are the summary results of the three sessions in week four.

Next: additional similarly structured weeks of running to build up to 10k.

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Week 162, Park like a joyrider again

Yes folks it's here again.

National Park Like a Joyrider Day.

An occasional series occurring at roughly 18 month intervals.

Yet again it's an entrant from the amateur class.  It's a good effort, let's take a closer look.

Starting our review at the back. The rear wheel is only just on the pavement, this could be marked down for not being far enough over but as the wheel partially obscures the tactile surface for the visually impaired this gains points.

The back end of the car gains marks as not only does it obscure the visibility at the junction but also juts out into the adjacent thoroughfare, this shows a level of skill above that of the novice in the amateur category.

Moving to the front of the vehicle.  The front wheel is as far onto the pavement as it can go, only prevented from further travel by the obstruction caused by the Give Way sign - the juxtaposition of the ideal to 'give way' and the blockage caused by the vehicle adds a cheeky twist to the effort from this amateur entrant.

There could be some improvement, cyclist snagging loose trim and a packet of Lambert and Butler on the dashboard with a small, empty plastic bag with a few dregs of home-grown perhaps, but overall a good quality attempt.

7/10 for this example from the amateur class.

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