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Everybody needs a touch of the masonic undergarment, or that's what I've heard at least.
Wobbling around in less than fragrant chuddies during the initiation ceremony may not be appreciated.
"I stopped as soon as I saw your blue light flashing officer."
Guaranteed to gain a free pass on speeding, assuming the hand signal is correct and your slacks are in order.
All performed in an auditorium of some kind, and with flaming pillars at the entrance.
Semi-circular, not in the round nor on the square.
Not unlike this theatrical treat.
It had better not be pants.
Pants as in trousers, like they say in the North West of England, and in Ireland too.
This isn't a fashion show.*
* What is this? Brought to you this evening by the winter drawers on of word association football. Our usual correspondent is indisposed.
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After a hard day eating aphids what could be better than to have a rest on a leaf.
Here we see the Harlequin ladybird, a relatively recent arrival from Asia.
Harlequins were first spotted in the UK in the summer of 2004, although in fact they've always been spotted...
The impact on native ladybird species is being monitored, it isn't likely to be good.
It is already thought to be responsible for the decline of 7 of our 46 resident species.
The "most invasive ladybird on Earth" didn't so much take a wrong turn as take advantage of modern transportation.
They hitched a ride in cars, trucks and other transport.
Harlequins don't just out-compete other ladybird species but will also eat them as well as aphids.
The spotty sods.
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Maybe I need a coat, I don't know.
Is it warm? Perhaps the waterproof will afford an extra degree of comfort.
I wear the waterproof.
I've no idea why I'm going to Broomhill, but that's where my legs are taking me.
As if an automata, my body performing the hollow activity defined by some long since still hand.
Strange are these moments when clarity is lost but movement persists.
The air is cool, almost cold.
I buy Bombay mix, chocolate, spicy crisps - better to be full and nauseous than empty.
The walk back passes leaves being blown into piles, damp leaves, already rotting, returning.
I remember that it was milk.
Milk.
That's why I went to the shop.
But being distracted by the cosmic microwave background, a deflating universe, a drop of pressure, I wandered.
To the paper shop then, they have milk, it's just a small diversion.
And as the rain starts to fall, my waterproof reveals itself to be adequate protection.
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Things happen in a day that get in the way.
Small things, tall things, some as big as your head.
Jerky, pointy, spiky things.
Things that only experience and a thick waterproof can shake off.
Experience, being waterproof, and an impersonal approach confers an advantage.
One that I am happy to embrace.
The only thing that got in my way was an orthotic appointment.
Very bland.
All of which was a preamble to the composite photograph below.
Which features jerky, pointy, spiky things.*
And a load of balls.
* This cannot be described as easy-going architecture, particularly the 'cheese grater'.
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Here they are, The Intertubes.
No, not a popular new boy-band but the pipes that bring the wireless.
Yes, it brings the wireless, your wireless would be nothing but a dull hiss without The Intertubes.
Or am I thinking of the wireless?
Who knows.
I haven't a clue.
It's one of those days where I'm struggling to recite pi to 10 decimal places...*
Or remember the whole word to the name of the Maori hill in Quantum Jump's Lone Ranger.**
This must be what it's like to be normal.***
* I memorise random shit.
** I really do memorise random shit.
*** As in 'being too sensible to be bothered to remember random shit.'
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