Week 114, Thermal Vent

This week saw the launch of a major new self-sufficiency initiative at the top of Western Bank in Sheffield.

A thermal spring was discovered close to the University, and in the spirit of doing things differently this opportunity was taken advantage of within hours.  Soon there would be no need for connection to the National Grid if power could be generated on-site.

Unfortunately though, on further inspection - while in the process of discovering the cause of this thing - it turned out that the thermal vent was the result of a leakage of another power recovery and generation initiative.  The steaming mud-hole was a side-effect of recycling city rubbish and a result of pressure failure in the combined heat and power system.

C'est la vie.

Merry Christmas to one and all, and happy post-sprout venting.

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Week 113, Now Get Out of That

Here to there?

Many have done this sort of thing.  On either outward bound courses, management training courses, leadership courses or other such events that pitch a disparate band of people together with the objective of finding out the qualities of each member to get them working as a functional unit.

It's a little like The Dirty Dozen but without the prison sentence, The Magnificent Seven but without the horses, but mostly like It Ain't Half Hot Mum but without the jungle. 

We've all done it, haven't we?  Feel free to plead ignorance.

So what in this instance is the challenge you now face?

Let me read the instructions.

You are here, as can be determined by the fact that you have a level of awareness of being who you are and in a location that you are at.  The location you are at is not the location that we would like you to remain at, in fact we would like you to be over there.

No, not just over the other side of the large body of water, but yes you do have to cross the large body of water.  What we want is for you to get from here to the top of the hill in the distance, the bit of hill where there is still some snow.  And we want you to do that using the equipment we have provided for you.

First remove all of your clothes.

What?

Yes, clothes are a hindrance.  We have provided some bin liners and gaffer tape for you to improvise some waterproof clothing.  It is better not to attempt to cross the water wearing your normal outdoor clothing as it is likely to get wet and drag you down below the surface where you will be eaten by humpbacked Neguala monsters with two mouths.  Neguala monsters find bin liners particularly unappetising so they will provide some level of protection.

You're kidding?

You don't believe in Neguala monsters?  Suit yourself, don't complain to me as you're having both your legs removed from above the knee by a complete set of razor sharp teeth each housed in a separate mouth on the same creature.

Is this really a sensible course of action?  Anyone?

Once fully attired the team must fashion a device to carry this life-sized spun-sugar sculpture of Freddie Mercury to the target location ensuring it sustains as little damage as possible.  To assist in your task you have also been given a 2m roll of jumbo bubble wrap, twenty duck egg shells, some lint, a Lidl Christmas wreath, and some hummus.  You may also make use of found objects - this does not include human artefacts other than those which have passed through the digestive tract.

You have 120 minutes, starting now!

What?

Oh for goodness sake - ok team, we can do this, does anyone have any knitting needles?

Team?  Where've you gone?  Come back, I'm not bloody doing this on my own!

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Week 112, Weston Park

The facade of Weston Park museum.

This view doesn't work.  The neo-classical pavilion is lopsided with the addition of the extension to the left.  Virtually every other example of neo-classical architecture, available from a quick internet search, reinforces the idea that there should be balance.*  This view leaves you with an uneasy feeling that something isn't right.

The extension to the left was built to replace the original museum building.  The pavilion was until very recently the Mappin Art Gallery, built in 1887 as an extension to the museum.

I feel we should crowdfund an extension to be built on the right to achieve the correct harmony, even if only to be constructed from MDF, pebbles or other discarded technology.  Kevin McCloud could be approached to advise on symmetry, neatness, eco-friendliness, the most appropriate design and how to stay on budget.

Or alternatively knock the bit on the left down, like they did to build the later main entrance, and replace it with the trees being evicted from across the city. 

It's a fundamental design flaw, but does it matter when you can go inside and enjoy the exhibits?  No, not really.  You should do that, and ignore the architectural asymmetry.

And when you think Ionic, but not iconic, think of Sheffield.  Things are done differently here.

* What were they thinking?

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Day 779, Week 111 (W minus 0)

What does day 779 mean to me?

It means a number of things, some of them about the number, some about the reasons for doing this.

Let's start with the number.  Apparently 779 is a highly cototient number, that is a number which has more solutions to the below equation than any preceding highly cototient number except 1.*

x - phi(x) = k

That is for where phi is Euler's totient function and where k is our number or any of the other highly cototient numbers lower than our number.

Other things of interest about the number 779 is that it is divisible only by itself, by 1, and by the two prime numbers 19 and 41.**  This collection of numbers could be used to illustrate the basics of RSA public key encryption, which is essentially the process of creating a public key from two primes and another number relatively prime to our original numbers.

Moving on from the number.

What has been daily, and continuous, for 779 days will become weekly and continuous.  That doesn't rule out additional days in between where some silliness occurs to me.  This blog started as an exercise in a number of things, amongst others it was about whether I could maintain motivation to do a task regularly, it was about generating ideas, about being able to discard ideas without becoming precious about them, and about extinguishing concerns about how my writing might be judged.  The process has been pretty effective at helping achieve those aims, but it has also become a restriction in that ideas can't be developed further due to a desire to hit the deadline (however arbitrary or self-imposed).

The potential downside to this is that the general silliness might be lost if I start thinking in terms of producing more considered content, so I'll try and keep it light even when being a pompous arse.***†

Here is a Photoshopped image of a PDF document with some text about encryption, perhaps there has been a hidden message in these blogs.****

* More information here.
** You may not necessarily find it as interesting.
*** The intention was to be generally silly, if that hasn't come across then...

† Being a pompous arse can be an asset when working in IT, not so much elsewhere...
**** There has.

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Day 778, W minus 1

The Boss PS3 effects pedal below is set in mode 7, the mode that produces a noise which approximates to backward delay.

Handy for a pseudo-reverse guitar sound when playing live - much simpler than having to create alternate realities moving in different chronological directions between you and your audience to get a similar effect.

Second hand in 1995, the PS3 cost me ninety quid of money I didn't have.

Now here in the future it isn't possible to get one of these for less than £110 on Ebay.  It's held its value pretty well, even accounting for the effect of inflation.

So how much would that lump of 1995 £90 cash be worth now?

The inflation since 1995 and today, December 3rd 2016, is over 79%, which turns ninety quid then into £161.58 today.

If I was in the market for another of these now it would be better for me not to reverse time - they are effectively much cheaper in the present - and with the additional effect of not having to eat boiled rice every day for a fortnight to pay for it.

But, you pays your money and you takes your choice, and back then I didn't have a time machine.

I'm keeping it in mode 7.

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Day 777, W minus 2,

If Hendrix had been a Un*x admin, and 6 were 9, then probably his keyboard was upside down.

With a newbie error like that he'd chmod the devil out of here, waving his freak flag high.

Though having turned 74 within the last week he would probably have retired his typing skills long since.

And in that state of lack of experience he could be excused for having a kiss of keyboard confusion.

At least his guitar was always round the right way, even when behind his head. 

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Day 776, W minus 3

Some bastard has carved some giant letters in my lawn.

I'm sure I'll make good use of it though.

Furrows for seed planting?

Turn it into an anatomically accurate diagram of The Duke of Edinburgh's varicose veins?

Perplex aliens with incoherent landing instructions?

There's almost always a positive.*

* Look at the size of my lawn!

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